I embarked on another fieldtrip today to the exciting office of the perinatologist. This was the prized appointment, in which I had screamed, threatened, and cried, in order to obtain. My histrionics were well, well worth the effort and let it be known to other pregnant women that a touch of pregnant theatrics is sometimes necessary to garner the attention of others.
The doctor informed me that my body is not poisoning Baby J or presenting any other toxic, life-threatening barricades to his arrival. Every morose condition, which surfaced when I googled the words "PROM" and "placenta previa", do not apply to me or Baby J. As a matter of fact, I was shocked when the US tech said that my placenta was 5 cm away from my cervix! During my entire stay in the hospital, my placenta gravitated back and forth, barely 2 cm away from my cervix. So, this means that I am most likely able to have a natural birth and no longer have to worry about pushing for twenty-three hours before being whisked away into a c-section.
It turns out that Baby J liked the doctor and sonographer as much as I did, because he was more than willing to cooperate on his bio-physical and scored a super-duper, A+++ (8/8 in all four areas). Although his lips were slightly parted, he did not feel inclined to stick out his tongue and made his mommy and grandma proud by demonstrating good manners. Also, he did not feel the need to play flasher-baby and kept his jewels hidden. We were all thoroughly entertained with his baby olympics performance and the sonographer even commented that he is a "very active baby" and not a "lazy baby" as the other tech stated on Friday.
While Baby J appeared to be in excellent condition, the doctor does want to continue to monitor his weight, as he is only 4 lbs, 12 oz and is in the thirteenth percentile. Every Monday, until I deliver, Baby J will be weighed and evaluated. Sadly, the five pounds that I have accumuated since being home have not re-routed their way into my uterus. Also, I was taken off of total bedrest and have now graduated to partial bedrest--celebration!! After the doctor took his time explaining everything in great depth and detail, my mom and I were so overcome with gratitude it is amazing that neither of us proposed marriage.
So, in conculsion, my theory-of-the-day is that Baby J has a Napoleon complex. Due to his teeny-tiny status, that he was worried he would not be taken seriously during gestation. So, five weeks ago, he decided to throw a temper tantrum and let it be known to the world that he has a larger-than-life personality. Like most men, he did not anticipate the consequences of his actions, which lead to the imprisonement of mommy and the anxiety of daddy.